Ow.

My name is Amanda and I was (I guess still kind of am) an online dater.

     My marriage ended 2.5 years ago and as of November, I was still a no-dater.  It seemed like everyone I knew who was single had entered the world of dating so me being a follower decided to try it out.  Well, I didn't know where to meet guys and I was soooo good at it prior to my marriage *chokes on own laughter*,  So the logical(?) thing to do was try online dating, and match.com seemed like a good place to start.  

     I created a profile and paid for one month.  Holy Cow....that place is like the world's largest online weirdo convention.  I have never seen so many oddballs in one place and some of the messages I received were quiet repulsive. One guy sent me messages asking me about my underwear, One asked if I would have sex with him on the first date, One deemed me worthy of a first date blow job before dinner.... I had a slew of men ask me out and I declined.  Fear, nerves, disgust - you name it, I used it as an excuse. 

 But there were a few that intrigued me.  So I sucked it up and tried out a few dates.  Wow.  There was #1.   He was a cop who was a gorgeous hunk of man.  9 years older than me, 6'2, tattooed and very sexy.  We had a very nice first date.  Within hours after he left the pictures arrived.  And let me tell you....NOT ones I could share on here.  I declined a second date, even though he was such a gentleman on our date and so easy on the eyes.  Recently he contacted me again and I am considering trying a second date.  Guy #2 picked me up in a very snazzy mercedes.  He was attractive and sweet - and had a killer job for the federal government. He was very intelligent and very dull.  We had a three hour dinner in which he pulled out a pen and drew graphs of the soil and water tables and rock beds.... snooze city.  Then we drove around to see Christmas lights and I heard more about the soil, water, and rocks.  Again...one date was enough.  Date 3 was with a guy who graduated 4 years ahead of me and we had several mutual friends.  He picked me up for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and we did some Christmas Shopping.  Our ride home was long because again....we had to look at Christmas lights.  He came in and stayed til 3 am talking.  The next night he came over to work on Caitlin's headboard with me and stayed for pizza and 4 hours of Dateline.  OH MY GOSH.  What is wrong with people??!!!!  Really?  Date 4 was with a very nice guy who brought dinner and we watched movies.  He ended up staying the night, we both stay fully dressed and fell asleep on the couch.  He was very nice, we enjoyed ourselves, but I felt absolutely no spark at all. Then I tried one last time.  This guy was younger, and had quite a story.  We chatted for a few weeks by texts, phone, and skype.  4 hour conversations would seem to take minutes. We connected immediately and ended up getting together for a midnight movie date.  He is a fantastic guy.  But.... I realized I am not ready to date.  I don't know what is wrong with me.  I thought I was.  I miss the companionship, the cuddles, having someone to have my back, someone to talk to - especially at night.  And I flat out miss sex!!  tmi, I know...but you all know me.  He was the only guy out of all of them that I kissed.  The others were a hug goodbye.  So I sat down with him and told him what was weighing so heavy on my heart.  That I liked him a lot but just was not ready.  He was wonderful about it.  We still text daily and he is bringing me fountain diet coke and dinner after my surgery.  Who knows what if anything will happen, but I do know that I am not going to rush anything.

      Oh...and how could I forget the crazy guy?! Robert.  Yes, I am putting his name out there.  He was crazy.  When he called me and within not even 5 minutes was trying to have phone sex - I lost all interest, and told him so.  He blew up my match messages and my phone for the next few days then sent me a threatening message.  It was scary.  I spoke to date one later about it and he told me that if it happens again that I am to go to the Norwalk Police Dept. and file a report.  Thankfully he has NOT contacted me lately.  There are a few more stories, but those will wait for another time.  

   So that is the starts of my dating after 15 years.  I don't think I am ready for this.  

Home Again

It feels good to be back.  This is where some of us met, where we have celebrated, shared heartache, asked and answered questions, discovered more about each other and ourselves, and I have missed it. I would have no Crystal, Carrie, or Cheryl in my life it weren't for Blogland.  And I believe my relationships with the rest of you only grew closer because of this! We all know I share a ton about me on fb, but I have needed the safeness and support and love of Blogland.  So welcome back to my life and Thank you for welcoming me back into yours.   I love you girls.